worry

This is what has been weighing on my mind lately.

At Evelyn's 6 month check up she had lost weight. Now, she had just started crawling that month, so I wasn't too concerned about the .5lb loss, but the doctor was. She ordered me to be feeding my baby no less than every 3 hours and to make sure she was getting enough. Babies Evelyn's age are supposed to be getting about 24 oz of milk or formula every day. I made an appointment to come back in a month to get her weight checked again. She measured only in the 10-25th percentile in everything, which I also wasn't as concerned with, because Kyle and I aren't big people, we are short, small statured, and when I am not stuffing my face, we are both fairly light weight (not that I have been that way since we started dating and got married, ugh. That's another blog post.)

I obediently started pumping after every other feeding to make sure I got every last drop out to try and help boost my supply. We went to SLO about 2 weeks in and I didn't bring my pump because I had no way to store what I would pump. Well, when we got back, she had been eating for longer stretches so I figured I was good without the pump anymore. yay! It is just so hard to pump when you have a clingy child, and a husband who works, so he can't watch the baby... Not that I mind doing it, it is just easier to not, and I am all about ease.

Well, the other night I am nursing and Kyle notices that, yes Evelyn is eating longer, but she seems distraught, like she is trying her hardest to get whatever she can out. I just figured it was her being a pill, but from an "outsider's" perspective, it looked different. So we decide that I should start pumping again, just to make sure. But rather than pumping after the feedings, pump and then feed her that so we can see how much she is getting each feeding.

First feeding of the morning, 4 oz, pretty darn good, right on track. Next 3oz, and then it just kept going down from there. by the time we got to her bedtime feeding I could barely get an ounce out, our freezer stock is running low because we have been supplementing her bottles to make sure she is getting a full bottle. She is also freaking out when we take the bottle away because it is empty.

Of course, by now I am feeling like a horrible mother because I haven't been realizing that my baby hasn't been really getting enough food. Poor thing is just hungry! and I am freaking out because I am not sure how long this might have been happening, no wonder she wolfs down the solids we feed her at dinner time, that and she just wants what ever we have...

All that to say, we have our weight check appointment on Friday. Pray for a weight gain for Evelyn, and pray that we would have good advice from the doctor. I really don't want to have to go the formula route, even though I know there is nothing wrong with it, i just want to be able to provide for my child! It kills me to think that I can't be the one to nurse her and give her what she needs.