Well, that brought about comments from a few of my friends, from each end of the debate on the Family Bed.
it got me thinking, and here are my thoughts on the whole thing, disjointed as they may be, because they would not fit on a Facebook comment...
I am all for the Family Bed. I think it's a wonderful idea and I read about my friends who have their kids all snuggled in with them and it sounds beautiful! But... I also need my space. I like to have room to sleep as I want, to roll over and not move a child.
To this point Evelyn has slept in her cradle right next to our bed, at first on Kyle's side, and then when he started work again and needed his sleep, on my side so we could get her right away when she would wake at night.
For the last month she has been consistently sleeping through the night (yay!!!!) through no part of me, (I dunno how she did it, she just did and I am not going to stop her!). Well, if she is not going to need to be fed in the middle of the night then there is really no reason for her to be in my room when she has her own... plus she is getting a bit too big for the cradle.
Now, I know to some people, whether or not their baby/child sleeps through the night they will keep them in their room for as long as they can. I have friends with two small children, with two small beds in their parent's room, and they all love it! (they have room for the children to have their own rooms, but choose not to utilize it right now) I don't know that I could do that.
My parent's had my brother in their room until he was two, then he moved into my sister and my room until we remodeled and we all had our own rooms. I don't know what they did for my sister and me, as I was too small to remember, but I am sure it was similar.
I am all for babies in bed with mom and dad, to a point. If my baby girl comes toddling down the hall and says "mommy up!" then by all means I am going to pull her into bed with me and snuggle until it is time to get up! My parent's did with me (until I decided sleeping sideways in the bed with my head in one's ribs and my feet in the others was the way to go, hehehe! sorry mom and dad...), I loved that security knowing they were there for me to go to. I want my kids to feel comfortable crawling into my bed in the morning and knowing that we can have that time together as a family, to slowly go into our day. My friend Lindsey does that and I love it!
One of the things that came up was how do you go about your "marriage business" if your babies are in the same room as you. Well, I don't know about older children, but for us, Evelyn is a fairly good sleeper, also, when we *ahem* we aren't exactly swinging from the rafters. We did try to keep it down, but we also didn't feel as though we needed to take it to another room, and by the time we got around to it, she had usually been asleep for awhile.
Now I know I had a lot of other thoughts on this matter, but when I was composing this in my head earlier I didn't take good notes and have now forgotten what I was going to say... so that's all I got for now. Take it or leave it. Start new debates... Just please keep it civil people!
and here is a picture of the cutie who started the debate... because it's my blog and I can!
she's so cute!
5 comments:
I think whatever works for each family. I don't think any particular choice is bad. We prefer having our room to ourselves. I'm very protective of that. The kids were all in their own room by 8-10 weeks of age (as soon as they started sleeping 8 hrs in a row). For us, it's in order to sleep better and to have more freedom to enjoy our marriage. That's hugely important to me! But I always love morning snuggles with the baby/kids. And often when we have company we end up with some of the kids in our room, and that's always fun (for a little while!).
Beautifully written and well thought out! If it works for you, go for it. I just now what I have created that works for us. . .and I like the way you acknowledged all the "situations" that people threw out there.
I agree that it's TOTALLY up to the couple! I do think, though, that the husband and wife should agree and as long as they're agreeing, who else cares! Trav and I love to have our own space. Bella does now come snuggle with us on weekends just cuz we don't want to quite get up yet, and so she comes to snuggle. And I'm all for having kids come in if there are bad dreams or something... but our bed is OUR bed and I just love knowing that there is one place in the house that the children cannot be allowed. Creates something special for me...
Love the picture of Evelyn! She looks so much like Kyle!
Josh and I both enjoy having the bed and room to ourselves. Natalie only spent one night in the same room with us - she was then "promoted" to her own room. She would be asleep, but making all the squeaking noises that babies make and Josh and I would wake up and think she needed something - so we didn't get any sleep, even if she was sleeping. Anyway, she has her space - we have ours and we love to hang out together...when we're awake. :-)
I also have good memories of sneaking into bed with my parents on occasion when I was little, so that would be more than welcome!
As far as people that have a family bed - I have heard the argument that it helps them be more "creative" with their love life because they have to find new places since their room is occupied. ;-)
We did like you. Liz was in a bassinet for a few weeks with us and then to her own room. I don't even remember if we had Danielle in our room. I had friends that had a family bed and that was fine for them. We liked our space. love you
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