Hi Ladies,
I have a question for you all, I guess guys could answer this too if they read this blog and have input, but it is mostly geared toward women...
Did you use a Doula when you gave birth?
What was your reasoning behind using or not using a Doula?
This is something that I have been pondering lately, and even more recently because I just found out that my sister in law's boyfriend's mom is a doula and in training to become a midwife (but not for another couple years)... So if I had someone that I could easily pick, rather than having to research Doula's in the area, it would be easier, but I really don't know if we need or want one.
So again, the questions are:
Did you use a Doula when you gave birth?
and
What was your reasoning behind using or not using a Doula?
I have lots of other baby related questions too (mostly surrounding labor and what needs to be done) but those can wait for another day...
4 comments:
I did not. Mostly because I was new to the area and didn't know any. I also was new to the whole labor thing and had no idea what I was doing. Just did what my mom and sister did. While I wouldn't go so far as to say I loved my labor experience, it was fine and got the job done! :-)
I used a doula with the girls birth. I would definately recommend it. Yes it's more money, but worth it..for me anyway. Basically, having a doula solved the whole "Who do you have in the room with you" debacle. Love my mom, but wouldn't want her in there (again). Love my MIL,and actually wouldn't mind her being there...but I can't exactly have her there, but not my mom. So, by saying no one was allowed except for Andy and the doula, it solved that issue. Also, I always "feel bad" asking people to do things for me. Like massages or whatever. I tend to not ask because I dont' want to bother them or because I feel bad that their hands might be hurting or whatever. Which is what happened during Henry's birth. BUT, when you know you are PAYING someone to do these things, I didn't feel bad having her rub my legs for hours or running for yet another glass of water...this was her JOB. Not a volunteer. Her job. And for me, and my personality, this worked best for me. I didn't use a doula with Henry and instead had my mom and my MIL there...and that was not fun. It just was too many people and a lot of the time they just sat there STARING at me. I felt like that old saying "a watched pot never boils". it was annoying and the whole time i felt bad that it was taking so long.
I debated getting a doula as well, but finally decided against it. At first I thought it would be nice to have someone there to relieve Josh if he needed a break and labor was long, but when it came down to it he didn't want to leave my side. The nurses were super attentive where I gave birth and Josh kept be focused when I started paying attention (and freaking out) to all that was going on around me. So, we saved a bunch of money and I couldn't have asked for a better "coach".
I wasn't interested in having a doula the first time. The second time was HORRENDOUS because it was so hard and so fast, and I could not focus at all (I was literally out of my mind!), so I was scared to death going into the third. So I asked my husband about having a doula. We talked about it a lot, and it came down to the fact that he didn't want to feel pushed aside during the labor and wanted to be the one to help me (now a doula doesn't push husbands aside, they help them, but he would feel that way nonetheless).
So no doula the third time either. And we really practiced and did a refresher course, and I learned how to get focused and stay focused, and I have to say that made my third delivery the best and what I would actually call "beautiful".
In the end, all I ever really wanted was Mike because he knew me so well. I don't like other people around when I don't feel well, no matter how helpful they are. So this was best for us.
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